"No Risk, No Reward." The point of this excellent article is that flirting with others while committed to someone IS a little dangerous - that is the very reason this can work. And critics are not incorrect to point out - as the author does! - that the risk is mitigated (but not the reward) only when the commitment is on solid ground. It must be an agreement, made in a container of trust, with rules that are abided by and enforced (the enforcement of the rules must also be agreed upon by both parties - many people leave out the "consequences for breaking the trust" aspect).

Only psychopaths would break the trust in these situations, and psychopaths will break trust in many ways no matter what the rules are.

After establishing the "game," couples should have constant feedback - an "After Action Report," like the military uses.

- what was supposed to happen?

- what actually happened?

- what worked and what did not?

- how can we improve?

This keeps the whole process from start to finish in the container of the partnership - it should be about creating a better "We/Us."